


Right Now

by Piano_Kitty



Category: One Direction (Band), Zayn Malik (Musician)
Genre: Anal Sex, Fluff, M/M, Rimming, Smut, unbetaed
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-06-02
Updated: 2016-06-02
Packaged: 2018-07-11 20:44:05
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,073
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7069252
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Piano_Kitty/pseuds/Piano_Kitty
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>It clicks in that moment that Zayn is just as nervous as him. They were texting about kissing. Liam told Zayn to come over so he could show Zayn how well he kisses. This is awkward because they haven't talked in so long and never touched the subject of The Kiss™ until now. Liam should just kiss Zayn. </p><p> </p><p>  <i>Liam should just kiss Zayn.</i></p>
            </blockquote>





	Right Now

He doesn't remember whose roof he's on, he just woke up on someone's couch wrapped up next to a girl equally as unconscious as the large group of people also in the living room, and he should be terrified of falling but that's never been him. He's never afraid.

Heh, ain't that the biggest fucking lie.

Zayn pulls another drag and dangles his feet over the roof.

“And I could do this forever.” He mumbles around the cigarette.

He’s glad PILLOWTALK is doing so well. He shouldn't have been nervous about it because he knows the fans are insane. Knew it'd probably reach the millions as soon as it was out but he was worried nevertheless. The song came from him and sure it wasn't one of his more meaningful songs that made him tear up while writing, those he was saving for the album, but it was still his. Not Louis’ and Liam’s but just his.

“Let's go crazy together.” He blows out on the next puff.

He wonders if Gigi pulled better than him last night. They'd showed up at the party together. She insisted on him wearing a leather jacket over the white shirt he already had on and was planning on leaving the house in when she had burst into his kitchen and demanded they go to a party. It matched the leather dress she was wearing and truthfully only Gigi could pull some shit like that off.

Zayn was thankful for her. When he left he didn't realize how lonely he'd be and then they met at another party and it was so easy to fall into conversation and even easier to fall into bed with her. She practically lived at his house now and they’ve only had sex once. It wasn't like it wasn't good but when he grabbed her ass a week later she smiled and pushed him back.

“You know better than me you don't want to.”

And she was right. He was still going through the motions he did with Perrie. Having that shit drilled into you for five fucking years would do that to you, but at least he didn't get it as bad as Lou and Harry.

He bites his lips when he feels the nasty twist in his stomach. He missed them so much. It's weird not being with them. His literal brothers. Missed the late night awkward conversations in X Factor they did to try and bond. Missed the five of them sharing one hotel room even though they were split up into two when they first started touring, to cling to some small reminisce of home.

He cried when he thought they hated him. The Twitter fight set him off badly and he was angry and confused. Didn’t Louis know he was fucking miserable throughout those years? He was finally working on shit he liked, that he had input in and Louis was teasing like he always did. Gigi found him on the sofa and cuddled him up. Told him how much Louis loved him, how Zayn was crazy to think otherwise. She’d never even met Louis but Zayn figured he talked about the boys enough she knew.

His phone chirps and when he checks it there's a notification that Liam’s tweeted something.

“Right now, I wish you were here with me.” He sighed looking at Liam’s smiling in the selfie.

Gigi’s been a good friend, reassuring him when he felt insecure with his lyrics but he knows if Liam was with him he’d have finished a fucking musical.

He feels like shit because Liam hasn't called. Feels even worse he can't bring himself to do it first. Some moments he wonders if he should have stayed. Maybe in a couple more years they could have gotten to where Zayn was writing songs and not just giving half-assed suggestions. Gotten away with more than just the word ass and painfully “vaguely” referencing having sex.

Then he remembers when he skipped the group sit-downs with songwriters and tuned out in the corner with his sketch pad waiting for Liam to knock him out of the bored haze with a smile and promises of pizza. They'd eat Papa Johns and Zayn would half-heartedly listen to Liam talk about what he and the boys had written.

But the songs weren't real. Not even to them. They were master's of hidden meaning by their third year. And then at some point, they stopped giving a fuck. Zayn nearly shit himself when Harry changed the pronouns in Little Things and sang it like they originally wrote it.

He's trying to block out how Louis tackled Harry after the show and then commandeered the hotel room Harry was sharing with Niall that night when his phone buzzes again. Happy for the distraction he swipes it open not reading the notification for who it’s from.

**It’s weird not talking to you every day. I have like this terrible worried nauseous feeling in my gut cuz I don't know what you're up too and I can't fight the feeling which sucks cuz every night I feel it.**

Zayn wants to laugh. He's not even sure if Liam knows he referenced the song. Doesn't know how Liam finishes the lyrics without the slightest idea Zayn was even thinking about it.

He's giggling and he feels stupid because he's been stupid. Of course, Liam can brighten up his brooding, even unknowingly. Liam’s the only reason he made it five years singing Pop songs. It was easy on stage when Liam smiled at him when Zayn did a solo. Praised him in front of a crowd. He got hype from it. Liam made him confident in himself, helped him realize why he loved singing.

He also made him realize he loved Liam.

Zayn knew it wasn't like how he loved the other boys. But he didn't know how strong his feelings were. Not really until they kissed.

It was when were waiting to start a show. They were fooling around fighting over a bag of crisps Liam wouldn't share. Zayn had finally managed to wrestle the bag from him and was teasing Liam.

“Oi Li. All that muscle and yah let me swipe this from you? You’re slacking babes.”

“I'll show you slacking mate.” Liam grinned.

“C’mon then,” Zayn waved the chips behind himself, smiling. “C’mon.”

Liam lunged toward him wrapping Zayn's waist up in his arms forcing Zayn to drop the chips and hold Liam's shoulders as he was lifted up. It was the way Liam was smiling up at him. Eyes crinkled and teeth showing that made Zayn dip down and brush his lips over Liam’s.

He realizes he’s spacing out when a pigeon lands next to him effectively startling him.

“Fuck you Kevin.” he mutters absently. He climbs back over the ledge and taps in a reply.

**Right now, I wish you were here with me.**

He wants Liam to realize his reference and he knows Liam rereads texts when he’s bored so he hopes he catches it later if not now.

He wishes they started something after the kiss. Zayn had laughed from panic, punched Liam's arm and left the room. They didn't talk about it after that but sometimes he caught Liam looking at his lips. One time Zayn licked them self-consciously and Liam had looked up to his eyes and smiled.

When Liam and Sophia broke up Zayn nearly smoked through two packs a day. He didn't have the slightest idea if Liam wanted something with him. Didn’t want to fuck up their friendship by making a move.

He climbs from the fire escape back into whoever's apartment and looks at a beer on the table.

It's not like Liam and he talk much anyway. He could send a text and ruin everything and it wouldn't matter.

He opens the beer on the counter and tries to act like that's true.

 **If you were here** he starts typing. He thinks about what he’d do. If Liam was here he’d probably drop to his knees in the middle of the fucking kitchen and suck Liam's dick truthfully. **I'd kiss you.** He settles for.

**Are you drunk?**

Zayn takes a pull from the beer which is warm and disgusting and smiles.

**Drunks are truthful regardless.**

**I'd snog you silly. I don't think you can handle it.** Liam replies.

**You? Daddy Directioner? I'll believe it when I see it.**

It's nearly half an hour later and Liam hasn't replied. Zayn's regretting texting him and is on the street outside the apartment wondering if it's safe to call an Uber when Liam finally responds.

**Come over and I'll show you.**

 

Liam bites his lips after sending the text. Would Zayn actually come over? What would they do? The implication was pretty clear and Zayn seemed like he was flirting. Or maybe he was joking?

Liam cleans up the house regardless.

He starts thinking about The Kiss™ as Louis calls it. He wishes Zayn stayed in the room with him. The soft brush of lips while Liam held tight to Zayn fueled Liam's alone time the rest of the tour.

He was never into men before X Factor. He wasn't even really thinking about dating when he signed up. He loved singing and that was the thing he started concentrating on. Then when he finally got through and was put in a band after all the training he did after Simon shut him down was a bit of a slap in the face. But Liam took it in stride and tried to chum up with others. He and Zayn just hit it off. Zayn was funny but calm, unlike Louis and Niall who seemed to run on endless energy.

The first time he took a nap with Zayn he was a little uncomfortable. He wasn't used to sleeping with boys. Liam was totally fine with gay people he just wasn't one. But Zayn rolled his eyes and told Liam to cuddle with him or the next time Louis and Niall tried to put ketchup in his eggs he’d let them.

And after the naps started Liam lost all knowledge of what personal space around Zayn was. They touched on stage and draped over each other in interviews. Louis made fun of them but when Liam retorted with a quip about him and Harry a fire would light in Louis' eyes and he’d smile ruefully at Liam.

Then the punches and pranks turned more into verbal pissing contests and he and Louis became good friends.

Liam's smiles remembering Zayn's pouts and eye rolls at them and the large increase of “mandatory naps”.

“You're always with Louis! If he gets you in the day, I get you at night.”

And the euphemism in that sentence and the way Liam's dick twitched in reaction finally clued him into where his sexuality was.

Straight until Zayn was in the vicinity.

The realization freaked him out so much that he started dating Sophia.

And that was a disaster.

It's not like he didn't like her. They had a blast together. But when they tried to be intimate he couldn't get into it. She was worried that Liam didn't find her attractive and he tried to ensure her he was.

Then the next day he tried to research what was going on and stumbled on a gay porn with a tan boy with dark hair and long thick eyelashes. It was the first time in a while that he actually felt horny.

The next time he and Sophia had sex he was able to finish by thinking of strong arms and black tattoos.

The doorbell chimes and Liam shakes his head. He puts down the Windex he's been holding and why was he cleaning the windows? He looks around and realises the house is pretty spotless now.

He takes a breath before opening the door and loses it when he makes eye contact with Zayn.

Zayn scratches his stubble and looks somewhere over Liam's shoulder. “Hey.”

It clicks in that moment that Zayn is just as nervous as him. They were texting about kissing. Liam told Zayn to come over so he could show Zayn how well he kisses. This is awkward because they haven't talked in so long and never touched the subject of The Kiss™ until now. Liam should just kiss Zayn.

_Liam should just kiss Zayn._

Liam steps forward and pulls Zayn inside by the collar of his shirt. It's a bit dramatic and Zayn stumbles into his chest but Liam's a little high on the body contact and shoves Zayn up against the closed door.

“Hey.” Liam whispers in his ear and Zayn shudders.

Liam finally kisses him then. Rough and angry because Zayn left and hasn't spoken to him in a month and Liam's been worried sick about what Zayn's been up to with his new “friends”.

Zayn's arms wrap around Liam's neck and presses his body against Liam. Their hips grind together and Zayn moans throwing his head back. Liam bites roughly on his neck.

“Ow.”

“You deserve it.” Liam licks at the spot regardless.

“LI.” Zayn whines and Liam's hips twitch forward hearing the nickname after so long.

Liam squeezes Zayn's ass and grinds into him. He sucks another hickey on the other side of Zayn's neck hoping the paps will see it.

Zayn digs his nails into Liam's shoulders and arches as he comes. Liam listens to his ragged breathing and grinds on his hip and follows after a few thrusts.

They stay pressed against each other and the door for a while, catching their breaths.

“I'm sorry.” Zayn whispers and kisses Liam's ear.

Liam snuggles into Zayn's neck. “You needed to. I'm being selfish.”

“I should’ve called.”

“Yeah.” Liam pulls back and looks at Zayn. His lips look red and abused. “But I should've too.”

Zayn smiles and gives him a quick peck on both his cheeks.

“I missed you Leeyum.”

Liam grins and hugs Zayn tightly. “I missed you too, babe.”

They stay like that for a while just breathing each other in. Liam can smell the strong scent of alcohol and cigarettes on Zayn but under that Liam can smell the strawberries from the small candies Zayn eats when no one’s looking and the vanilla oils his mother sends him every year.

Liam could honestly stay pressed against his front door holding Zayn forever.

“The door knob might actually become a part of my spine if we stay like this.” Zayn whispers with a chuckle.

 

Liam carries Zayn into his room with his legs still wrapped around his waist. Zayn had laughed the whole time and peppered small kisses along Liam's neck.

Liam gently placed Zayn in the middle of his bed and stared at him.

“Hi, Li.” Zayn mumbled smiling at him through thick lashes.

Liam's heart skipped. “Hey.” He straddled Zayn's hips and bent over to kiss him.

It was slow and sweet. The two of them greeting each other with licks and nibbles. Taking their time. Zayn’s hands smooth across his shaven head then dug his nails into the back of his neck.

“I wanted to be in your bed gripping onto your curls since we met at McDonald's.” Zayn whispered into his ear and then sucked on the appendage.

Liam's hips jerk down and Zayn gracefully meets the grind. “Jesus.” Liam breathes heavily into his neck.

Zayn pushes him up and removes both their shirts pausing to suck a hickey into Liam’s collarbone. “This is good too, though.” He murmurs into Liam's chest and then pushes him completely aside. “Pants Li.”

Liam rolls back on top of him and the feeling of nothing but skin sliding against skin causes him to gasp. Zayn parts his legs further nustling Liam in the V of his hips.

“I know you keep your lube in the middle draw babe.” Zayn hinted.

“S’cuz everyone always thinks top or bottom.” Liam replies reaching into the draw. “No one thinks middle.” He whispers with a smile pulling out a condom and a bottle.

Zayn rolls his eyes but smiles fondly at Liam. “Sure.”

Liam sits back on his legs and appreciates Zayn's slim naked body spread open in front of him. He thumbs the cap of the bottle when an idea strikes him.

“Li?” Zayn questions when Liam scuttles back and brings his face close to Zayn's groin. Liam watches the precum ooze from Zayn's slit but ignores his dick for the moment. Liam smiles when Zayn jerks violently as he sticks his tongue between his ass and rims him.

“You-fuck. Leeyum.” Zayn moans grinding into Liam's face.

Liam slicks his finger with the thankfully flavoured lubricant and places a finger in with his tongue.

When his jaw was getting tired and he has three fingers in, Zayn starts begging soft “Please Li”’s. And Liam slides on the condom.

“Good babe?” Liam asked nudging the head of his dick against Zayn's hole.

“Leeyum.” Zayn whines looking at him through thick eyelashes.

Liam pops the tip in and breathes shallowly. “So tight.” He groans out eyes closed.

“No one else babe.” Zayn whispers. Liam opens his eyes and figures he could probably come from the way Zayn looks at him. There's a beautiful blush on his cheeks dusting down his neck and his lips are red and open from the little breaths he’s taking.

Liam wants to die like this.

He pushes in slowly and Zayn’s eyes snap to where they’re joined, drinking in how Liam's minutely disappearing into Zayn. Liam will probably laugh later about how true the statement is.

When Liam bottoms out he takes Zayn’s cock in hand and strokes up as he pulls out. He keeps tugging on Zayn to the rhythm of his thrusts until Zayn covers his hand over Liam's and digs the heel of his feet into the backs of Liam's thighs.

“Give it to me babe.” Zayn whispers straining up to peck Liam’s lips.

Liam removes his hands and places them on either side of Zayn’s head and thrusts roughly pushing Zayn up and knocking his head on the headboard.

“Li.” He whimpers unbothered.

Liam keeps the brutal pace and the world melts down to Zayn’s wrecked moans and grunts. Zayn's arms are wrapped loosely around Liam's neck and his mouth is opened slightly.

“Gonna make you come, baby.” Liam growls into his neck and bites down hard on Zayn's neck. He doesn't know what's gonna happen after this. Doesn't know much about what Zayn’s been up to since he left aside from what he’s read in tabloids but he wants to leave a mark. Wants to be able to show that Liam's still a part of Zayn no matter how far he strays.

Zayn tenses before his hips give a violent jerk and he cries out Liam's name as he comes. Liam rushes to join him letting the knowledge that Zayn's in his bed tonight and has been missing Liam sweep over him.

He snaps his hips balls deep and comes inside Zayn.

It's a few minutes before Liam rolls to the side and knots the condom, throwing it bonelessly in the vague direction of his rubbish bin.

Zayn tucks into his side when he’s settled back down seemingly unbothered by the semen drying on his stomach and leaking out of him.

Liam closes his eyes promising to himself to drag Zayn in the shower with him when they wake.

 

After Liam rudely woke him up and forced him into a shower that involved Liam pushing Zayn into cold tiles and liberal usage of shower gel for more than just getting clean, Zayn was sat on a stool in borrowed underwear watching Liam make them BTL’s.

Probably feeling Zayn's stare Liam glances over his shoulder to smile at Zayn.

“How’ve you been?” Liam asks casually as he turns back to the bacon.

“Okay.” Zayn answers chipping at the counter. “Absolutely better now.” He adds just to see Liam's ears turn pink.

“Oh?” Liam encourages trying and failing at faux neutrality.

“Been writing. Like a fucking lot.” Zayn continues.

“Found a good muse?” Liam asks as he slides the bacon onto the bread. Zayn smiles at  his bitter tone remembering the press did think he was dating Gigi.

“Longing mostly.” Zayn laughs taking the plate Liam hands him. Liam raises an eyebrow at him. “What? I send I missed you.”

“You wrote songs about me?” Liam asks sounding awed as he trails after Zayn who walks towards the couch.

“Try a whole fucking album.” Zayn mutters digging up the remote from the middle cushions where Liam usually jams it.

When Zayn turns back to ask Liam what he wants to watch, Liam’s blushing.

“Did you always...” Liam trails off picking at the crusts of his sandwich.

“Have feelings for you?” Liam looks up at him and nods. Zayn shrugs. “I don't-really I have no clue.” Zayn sighs and takes a bite of his (delicious jesus christ Liam) sandwich, chewing his thoughts into order.

“It's like I always felt some sort of way about you. Since we all met, like I was always the closest to you.” Liam nods. “And my family liked you and we just kinda got each other? I didn't really think about,” Zayn waves his hand trying to encompass his thoughts but Liam stared confused. “About fucking you-” Liam chokes. “What? Shut up! You know what I mean.”

Liam and he laugh. “Yeah. God, yeah. Go on.”

“I just knew you were my best mate and I trusted you. But like I dunno I guess I always had like, romantic feelings for you? I got so fucking jealous when you were with anyone and that's pretty much when I realized I guess.”

“That's why you stopped talking to me for nearly a month and ignored me on stage that one time?”

Zayn scratches his stubble and glances at the floor. “I just couldn't handle it.”

It's silent for a while when Zayn finally looks up. Liam looks pensive but not upset.

“Li?”

Liam s eyes snap up and after years of friendship and (from Zayn at least) longing, Zayn immediately sees the vulnerability in Liam's eyes.

“It's a bit narcissistic to ask but,” Liam breaths. “Did I...did I have any part in why you left?”

Zayn could spare his feelings. Really wants to in fact but his mother taught him the importance of honesty. He nearly laughs thinking about how many lies he and the boys have told to ensure adoration. Unknowingly, foolishly, sold themselves to Modest! to Simon, just to be famous.

“You ever wonder who we’d have been?” It's vague and a complete nonsequitur but Liam doesn't seem to mind that Zayn’s avoided his question. His shoulder hunch but answers Zayn regardless.

“It might be a little different for you all. I was turned away at first and trained so hard because I wanted it.” Liam shrugs. “Wanted this. I love singing. I love our fans.”

Zayn nods.

They finish their sandwiches and Liam's washing up while Zayn sits on the counter beside him unbothered every time Liam accidentally splashes sudsy water on his bare legs. Zayn figures if he’s being brave with Liam he should go all out.

“What happens know?” He asks the ceiling. He hears Liam shift off the tap and dries his hands.

“I'm not really sure...What do you want to happen?”

Zayn chews his lips.

Liam stands between his legs and tilts his head down. He smiles timidly at Zayn but frames his hands around his face and rubs gently circles into his cheeks.

“I want you. Only you Li. I,” Zayn chokes on the emotion that swells up. Years of pining and thoughts of rejection flood him and Liam leans forward and kisses him.

It's a kiss to melt into. Warm and loving and strong. Liam's always been so strong and maybe that's the reason Zayn felt so drawn to him. Even at such a young age Liam knew what he wanted and worked towards it.

“Let's give it a go, yeah?” Liam whispers into his mouth.

Zayn nods and doesn't think about the semantics. How Liam's management will react. How the boys will react or the fans or anyone. He just wraps his arms around Liam and reveals in finally having what he’s told himself he’d never get.

Sums up his life since X-factor.

**Author's Note:**

> This took so long to write and is so short? I hate myself.
> 
> Thanks for reading! Sure there may be consistency errors and misspellings but I don't have a beta and also _fight me._
> 
>  
> 
> [My Tumbles](http://petty-fujoshi-trash.tumblr.com/)


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